Our Chance
by Miru88
Summary: After Spike leaves to find out if he is really alive, Faye breaks down. Since they couldnt find a body, Faye searches for Spike, convinced that he is alive. Will she find him? What if he didn't remember her, or the Bebop?
1. Love, Flashbacks, and Journey

Hi everyone! Okay this is my first fic so...I really want reviews! Even if they aren't positive can you please tell me what you think? Oh, and I don't own Cowboy Bebop *sigh* too bad for me! Anyway, I hope you like it!  
  


Our Chance  
  


The tears dwell within me. He's dead I say to myself. I question my life, my reason and purpose in this world. Constantly I tell myself that I'll move on and forget about him. As if. How could I? I loved him, no I love him. I still love him. There was no body to bury. Maybe there is still a chance? No body right? I look in the mirror and I see my reflection telling me to get real.  
Its been like this for a while. I've been depressed and all mopey about it. You know, I wonder if he felt the same way about me? No, no he wouldn't he loved Julia. He couldn't love someone like me.   
I'd never thought I'd say this, but I miss him, his messy green hair, his smile, I even miss his cocky attitude. I sigh out loud under my breath. Loud enough that Ed heard me. She is weird, but sometimes she makes you laugh. Aw Faye-Faye!she said bending backwards so her head was upside down. Then she placed both of her hands on my face and squished it together, just as a grandmother would to a grandchild.  
Annoyed, I got up and went to my room, making sure to lock the door behind me. This is when I make my choice. I'll look for him. It doesn't matter if it takes forever. This way I'll know for sure if he is dead or alive.   
  
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I left a note for the others on the Bebop. It told them that I was going to be gone for a while and that I was taking a little bit of food with me.  
I'll go where ever my heart takes me. Im hoping I'll find him there, where I go. I have his picture with me. I look at it and chuckle to myself. He has that sly smile of his. A flashback comes to mind. Could I have stopped him from going? Maybe.  
I realized that I had already arrived at my destination, but where the hell was I? It didn't matter, this was a city, nothing more. Beautiful sights surrounded me. It was truly awesome. The neon lights, everything.  
As I walk along the streets I see a bar. Man, what I would do for a drink. I say to myself. When I sit down the bartender asks me what I'd like. Its been a while since I had alcohol, so I want something strong, yet not too strong. I go by my instincts, As he prepares my drink, I pull out a cigarette and look around the bar. A bunch of old men are drinking in a corner. They are laughing their asses off about something. Damn Spike. If it wasn't for him I'd be fine, but no Im here and Im happy at all. I think to myself.   
I look to the other corner. There are some men. They aren't too old looking. One is really skinny, like a twig. He has a crooked smile. The man next to him has fairly long hair, he is blonde and looks quite strong. Seems like the kind of man I'd have fallen for had I seen him a couple years ago. I realize that they are looking at me so I turn around and decide to ignore them. Im not getting into any sort of trouble yet.  
I order another drink and another. Practically drunk, I walk out of the bar. I didn't notice that I was being followed. It was that blonde guy with the long hair and his friend with that horrible smile. I walk faster, increasing my chances of falling, but hell, if you were in my shoes you'd run too. Who would want to be stalked by two creepy guys with a dirty look on their face. Hey doll! C'mere! We aint gonna hurt you! I hear one of them say. I only walk faster hoping to loose them. Of course with my luck they manage to get in font of me. What the hell do you want? I ask them harshly. Just wanted to have a little fun with ya! grinned the blonde as he tried to grab me. Get the fuck away from me. Im busy! I yell running in the opposite direction.  
Before I knew it they were in front of me again. Damn persistent assholes. I say to both of them. The skinny one slaps me across the face. Don't you dare call us assholes slut! he said. I glared at them and pulled out my gun. Unfortunately for me, my reflexes were a little too slow thanks to the vodka. The hit me a couple of times and as I fell to the ground I found that they weren't attacking me anymore. They were preoccupied fighting someone else, but who? Who in the right mind would fight them for me?  
It was so hard to see. I could identify that it was a male that was fighting the two men who assaulted me. I didn't get to see his face at the time. I soon fell unconscious. I smiled to myself, imagining that it was Spike who came to my rescue. I was like a damsel in distress and he was my savior.   
When I awoke, I was in a room. The aroma of delicious food was in the air. Where am I? I ask myself out loud, not expecting an answer. You got K.O'd. I thought you'd appreciate it if you got to rest so I brought you here. said a familiar voice. I whispered and looked around frantically.   
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okay so what do you think?? Is it worth continuing??? Reviews? Please?? I want to continue it but I wanna know what you think!


	2. Smile For Me Baby

Hullos! Im back. Well, I don't know how much you guys are going to like this part of the story. In fact Im not so sure how its going to turn out. So, review about this chapter and help me get good ideas! ummm well to the basics, I don't own Cowboy Bebop.  
  


Our Chance  
Chapter Two: Smile for Me Baby  


  
Where are you? I ask, wanting the answer and yet too afraid to hear it. He stood in front of me with a smile. A towel was in his hand, I assumed he had taken a shower. I say in disbelief. He doesn't answer me, but steps closer. My hand reaches out to touch his face. Im so scared at this point. What if my hand passes right through him? Spike...are you really here? Are you really standing there in front of me? I ask out loud. At this point my eyes are closed, tears are streaming down my cheeks. I feel his face. The texture of it. It is smooth, yet rough. For so long I've wished that I could do this and I am, right now, but for so long I've also wished I could slap him for not staying. Im still too afraid though, that if I open my eyes, he wont be there anymore.  
I felt him touch my hand. Immediately my eyes opened, and there he was, standing there with my hand in his. It really is you! I say smiling for the first time in what seems like years. He wears no expression on his face. Yeah, I am me and I am real. I look at him for a second. Now I'm nearly yelling. Where have you been all this time? I thought you were dead! He says to me, How do you know me? Do I know you? A look of sorrow appears on his face. I wonder what he is thinking? Why is he saying this? Some cruel joke? I glare at him. Angrily I say, Asshole! What the hell is your problem? Is this a fucking joke? Cause I don't find it very funny. He puts his hand on my shoulder. I look at it and brush it off with my hand. , he says, I just don't know anything right now. I get up and walk towards the door. I'm Faye Valentine. Just remember that. Remember my name.  
I walked the streets without a care. The man I love doesn't even know who I am. I can hear someone calling after me. Probably him. I don't think I want anything to do with him anymore. He has hurt me on countless occasions, and he did it again. This thought leads me to think about other things in my life. Recently my soul purpose for living was to find Spike and I did. So now what? I don't have any other reason to live do I? My thoughts are too much for me. They will lead me to my demise. I swear it.  
He manages to catch up with me. Would you wait?! he says, slightly out of breath. Why should I? What do you want? I reply coldly. I may not remember you, but I can get to know you again cant I? he asks while shrugging his shoulders. I raise an eye brow. What the hell would make you want to do that? He only shrugs again, but this time with a slight smile. He wants to get to know me, again. Man he must have really gotten hit hard.   
Hello?? Faye? he says waving his hand in front of my face. Uh...Fine. Fine. I say snapping back to reality. He shoots me another smile or well, more of a grin I guess. You know, it kind of hurts. I mean, to see someone you love after a long time and they don't remember you...then they want to spend time with you in hopes of their memory returning.   
he asks. I nod accepting his offer. Then we walked together.  
  
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Heeey! How was it? I was watching the tv guide channel while writing this. There isnt anything on tv so I continued it. This chapter was fun to make. I hope to write more so tell me what you think! ^-^


	3. Hidden Message in My Voice

...hey? oO' psssst Im gonna write this and then I want like....3 more reviews tellin me if its good or not okiedokieday? Okay so the regular stuff. I do not own Cowboy Bebop...hehe but if I did...*sigh* don't get your hopes up girlie and the poem/song-thingy was written by my best friend De_Vampire_Angelique.  
  


**Our Chance  
**Chapter Three: Hidden Message in My Voice  
  


A wonderful place. Amazing music and kick ass food. At least it wasn't like one of those Eat at Joe's. The waitress seated us in a private section. I wonder if she thought we were a couple or something. ...I guess we could have appeared that way, I mean we were talking a lot, if that has anything to do with it.  
So anyway we would go and hunt bounties. I say continuing my story of his past. He is looking at me as if he is paying attention to every single word that I say. Oh...there was this one time though. You kinda fell out of a church window and got hurt. Well anyway, you were wrapped up in bandages. I recall you motioned for me to come closer and whispered something to me. I cant remember what but I slapped you and now that I think about it, it really must have hurt. He smirks at me and I look down. Im sorry. I say.   
Don't be, I must have deserved it for whatever I said.  
I smile at him. He has changed so much. So, what have you been doing all this time, Spike?  
  
  
Yeah. I've been searching for something...something.  
I smile again. In a way I want him to recover his memories, but in a way I don't. Now that I think about it, he HAS changed, but so have I. Once again, there is sadness in his eyes. I sigh, I had fallen for him before, then he left me and everyone else on the Bebop. All this time I had been so mad with him, then I'd be depressed and wonder why.   
What are you thinking about, Faye?  
Nothing important.  
Has to be important if you're thinking about it.  
Its not. Leave it be.  
I laugh to my self. He is still persistent!  
Why are you laughing?  
Just thinking about you....uhh wait. no. no no no.  
That's when that damn sarcastic smirk went on his face. Thinking about me? What about me, Faye?  
You're such a lunkhead! Ugh! my mood quickly changed. He still wore his smirk though.  
Finally, our order came.  
mmmm man this looks good! Spike said nearly licking his lips. Well, the food did look good. You'd be crazy to say it didn't.   
  
He couldn't necessarily answer considering the fact that his mouth was full of food. As soon as he finished his bite he answered.   
I'll be right back okay? He was so cute. I know I wouldn't have admitted it to myself and denied the whole thing if this took place a couple years ago.   
I walked outside, with no intention to go back. Instead I just stayed by the entrance, thinking. I could tell him I loved him now, but it wouldn't mean anything would it? ...I can wait...I want him to have his memories first. Damn I need a cigarette. I say mumbling out loud. I finally find one after looking through my bag for ten minutes. Of course, just then I remembered about Spike. As I walked back in, he was still sitting, but watching the singer on the stage. How I wished that I was up there singing for him....singing my heart out. I sat down, this time next to him. He whispered to me, She's off key. I raised an eyebrow to his comment of her singing. What if I sang up there? I whispered back. He looked at me, Why don't you?  
Are you joking?! I nearly yelled causing a bit of a distraction.  
Nope. Not joking.  
Do I get anything? I say sarcastically.  
What do you want?  
Come back to the Bebop with me?  
He nods. I get up and ask the manager, whose appearance scares me slightly if I can try out and sing. You better have a good voice. he tells me. I smile my best smile and as the singer finishes her song I walk on stage. Spike is looking at me watching my every move.   
  
  
_Spike's P.O.V: That Faye Valentine looks really beautiful up there. I wonder if she can sing? So those things she told me must have really happened. Sounds like I was kind of a Jerk. Oh well. I wonder what the Bebop is like...I wish I remembered.  
  
Loving you is poison to my mind  
but strange enough I cant get you   
out of my head  
I wish I could be rid of you  
but loosing you   
is the only thing I dread  
You could never fathum how much I need you  
or how much I want you gone  
  
She has a beautiful voice...  
  
I'm just sick and tired  
of playing the part of your pawn.  
I know when you look into my eyes  
You're always dreaming of someone else  
They don't know how lucky they are  
to have you think about them  
  
Why is she singing about something so sad?   
  
I just wish one day I could be forgiven  
For not telling you this long ago  
I never would have thought  
That I could have sunk this low.  
  
_   
When I finished my song, I realized that he was staring at me. His eyes held that same sad expression that I was so used to seeing.   
Your voice is really beautiful. Why did you sing such a sad song?  
I was trying hard not to blush. I sing about my feelings.  
You're sad?  
Are you sure it was entirely sad? He was just about to say something but I cut him off (accident I swear!). She loved him you know, but he didn't love her back...love, what a stupid thing.  
...I see...When are we going to go to the Bebop?  
...uuuuhhh tomorrow I guess. Damn Jets gonna kill me.  
  
mmmmmhmmmm. I borrowed some food. Just a little bit. Haven't gotten to pay them back for it.  
  
Yeah, Jet and Ed. You honestly don't remember?  
He only shook his head.   
They are unique. Jet with his bonsai trees and Ed with her way of talking in third person.  
Ed is a girl?  
  
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AHHH Okay so what did you think?? Reviews please! Im going to write the next chapter as soon as I get some reviews so yeah....I hope you review cause I really wanna write another chapter! ^^;  



	4. You’re You, Only Not

A/N: OH I am so sorry I haven't updated this story in so long!!! Im sorry!!! I actually wasn't going to continue it but since I had a really nice review. I just wanted to say thank you to DarkRoseAngelScarlet and Shizaaa!!! Thanks, you really boosted my confidence when you wanted me to update. lol. Anyway, I've teamed up with my good friend De-Vampire-Angelique on this one.  
  
At this point I don't know if the chapter title has anything to do with the chapter. oO;  
  
Our Chance  
Chapter 4: You're You, Only Not.  
  
After going back to his place and packing we were off to the Bebop. I'd be able to hear Ed call me Faye Faye and eat the non-meat dishes that Jet cooks up. Now that Spike will be with us I thought that things would be back to normal...like how things used to be, but then it hit me. Spike really isn't ...Spike. He's not the same like how he used to be. Is that a good thing? Maybe now I actually stand a chance. Maybe he will love _me._ Not _Julia_, but _me.  
  
_I quickly shook the thought out of my head. Don't want to get my hopes up too high. Knowing Spike, he'd probably get his memory back. I did, why wouldn't he?   
  
Spike was flying behind me in his ship, the Swordfish II. Who would have thought he still had that piece of junk? A window popped up on my screen. I was taken back a bit when I saw his image.  
  
How much longer? he asked brushing his hand though his fluffy green hair.  
I sighed. Not much longer.  
  
His framed image disappeared. I muttered. I had to get Jet and tell him that I was coming with an old friend', hopefully he wouldn't take it the wrong way. I laughed to myself after that thought.   
  
Hey Jet? I called waiting for him to answer. I said more urgently.   
  
Oh its you. he said slightly irritated.  
  
Yeah...well I got a surprise for the both of you...and the mutt. I sighed.   
  
It better be food. You took a lot you know.  
  
Yeah yeah. Its not food. Its an old friend.  
  
...a guy?   
  
It sounded like he was going to yell. So I quickly said one word that would change everything.  
  
  
  
He nodded to me disconnected our line. I knew he understood what I meant. Jet and I, well... we've learned to get a long better. We're closer you could say. After Spike left it was only us. We had to get along to survive.   
  
Spike's voice snapped me out of all my fashbacks of the past.  
  
It's here?   
  
Yeah. Right over here. I nodded closing the window and pulling into the Bebop's hangar. He followed me. The doors closed and I hopped out of the cockpit. Its him only not. I whispered. Hey Spike? Come here. I called out to him.  
  
He came up to me and smiled that smile I hate and love. Yeah, Faye?  
  
I laughed knowing what lay ahead. Be warned of Ed. Knowing her, she will pounce on you and call you Spike Person' okay?  
  
His reaction to that was so funny. His eyes widened and he ran his fingers through his hair laughing slightly. Okay, but I still can't get over the fact that Ed is a girl.  
  
I shook my head. Oh wont you be surprised I thought. I laughed to myself and looked up at him. Yeah? You'll get over it soon enough. I said while opening the hangar door. Hey! Jet? Ed? Im back, with a surprise! I yelled.  
  
It was so good to see the Bebop crew. Jet was resting on that old yellow couch...if you can call it that anymore. Ed was swinging Ein around and laughing. And here it came.  
  
FAYE FAYE! Ed screamed as she swung Ein on her head and ran towards me. She stopped for a brief moment when she saw Spike. Who knows what went through her head, but then she smiled and hugged him while yelling Spike person! YAY!  
  
I looked a Jet and he nodded at me. The hard part is soon to come. I knew that already.  
  
Yo Spike. Jet said raising his hand and standing up.  
  
I'm going to my room. Don't let Ed kill him. I told Jet. I could hear Jet laughing slightly.  
  
I'll try. No promises. he said.  
  
Just as I turned to go to my room I saw Spike smiling and ruffling Ed's orange mop of hair. I smiled to myself. He's not the same, but he is Spike. After I brushed my hair and cleaned up a bit I walked back out to the main room. I was taken back slightly when I saw Spike. He was in that familiar position, he was sitting on the couch, legs stretched out and he was smoking a cigarette. I snapped out of it and walked behind the couch, rested my arms over it and smiled.  
  
Hey there, I said. I wasn't prepared for what came next.  
  
He smiled at me. A happy smile.   
  
I froze for a moment. ..I just wanted to borrow a cigarette. I said nervously.  
  
Yeah, sure. he said while digging through his coat. Finally he pulled out his pack and handed it to me.  
  
I nodded my head while sliding out a stick and putting it in my mouth. I handed him back his pack and he stuck it in his pocket.   
  
he said smiling at me. When did he ever say welcome like that? It wasn't sarcastic or anything. He is so different. I can't blame him though, I know what it's like.  
  
My mind flashed to the immense amount of Nicotine that I needed. Lighter..I need a lighter. I thought. I felt around my clothes. Stupid me, where the hell can I put a lighter in this skin tight thing? I glanced up and noticed Jet watching us. When he saw me he quickly made it look like he was working. Just then Jet reminded me of one of those Fathers. The ones that always check on their daughter to make sure that they aren't getting into any trouble. I laughed to myself and I guess Spike noticed that I was fumbling around for a lighter.   
  
I've got one if you want. he smiled.  
  
Nah, I'll find mine. I shook my head and walked to the kitchen.   
  
Jet was cutting vegetables. He ignored me as I walked to see what was in the pot.  
  
he muttered while dumping the cut vegetables into the pot. Something wrong Faye? he asked.  
  
I looked at him for a brief moment then turned my gaze to Spike who was relaxing on the couch. I removed the cigarette from my mouth and sighed. I can't take it Jet. I said while picking up my lighter that was sitting by a container. Oh god. I wanted to find him and I did...but...  
  
He paused for a moment then started to cut more vegetables. but what? Jet stopped cutting and said what I was about to say. but he isn't the same?  
  
He's Spike only not. Do you know how happy I was to find him alive? I turned to Jet and sighed, but he didn't remember who I was.  
  
Jet sighed. Yeah, it is pretty shitty isn't it? He shook his head. You gonna help him get his memory back?  
I hesitated before answering. I don't want him to remember.. I shook my head and continued my sentence, I don't. Why should he have to remember that? Why should he remember her? He doesn't need it...am I wrong? How do you feel? I put the cigarette back in my mouth and lit it.  
  
He shrugged. I'm really not sure..but your not entirely wrong and not entirely right.  
  
I inhaled the precious smoke from my cigarette and sighed. I've lost my perception of wrong and right a long time ago.  
  
Jet simply shook his head at me. I knew that he understood what I meant. We talked a lot about this for some reason.  
  
Do you know what I said to him that day? That day when he left? I told him that this..that we.. my voice got softer, that he was all I could come back to. That my past held nothing for me. I looked up to the ceiling. So I opened my heart...in a way..to him and he still left. I don't want to get hurt. Not again. Not by him. I placed the cigarette back in my mouth.  
  
He put a hand on my shoulder. Then don't let him..get him on your side completely before anything else happens.  
  
I shook my head. I've changed a lot since he left haven't I?I mean I may be slightly tomboyish, but still.. I've changed. Thank you.  
  
Yeah you have. Its what usually happens when you loose someone you love. He turned back to the food. And you're welcome.  
  
I raised an eyebrow. Do you even know what I'm saying thank you for? I stubbed my cigarette.  
  
Not a damn clue in the world..it better be about letting you slide by for the food. Jet laughed.  
  
I laughed slightly, then got serious. Yeah, that too. Thanks though, for being there when no one else was.  
  
You're welcome about that too. You're lucky though. he said seriously.  
I raised an eyebrow. Why's that? I've never had luck with the ponies. I said grinning.  
  
There was a bit of silence before Jet spoke. His tone was filled with melancholy, well, unlike many other people, you got the one you love back..  
  
I was about to speak when I head Spike's voice. What are you talking about? he asked. He was leaning on the wall looking at both Jet and I.   
  
Startled, I turned around quickly and asked him, Did you hear anything? My heart was pounding.  
  
No...I just got here. he said slowly, suspiciously. he asked while raising an eyebrow.  
  
I decided to play it cool so I put my arms behind me and put my hands on my head. Ask Jet I said cooly nodding to him.  
  
Jet's eyes widened when I mentioned his name. he exclaimed.  
  
Spike walked in with his hands in his pockets. Well can someone please fill me in? he asked wearing a sly grin.  
  
I'm not going to, Jet. You know I wont. I protested.  
  
Why not? Spike asked.  
  
Because....just because. I sighed.  
  
Spike took out a cigarette and lit it. That's not a very good reason.. he said smirking.  
  
That sounded like the old Spike. It was creepy to hear him say that, but when he did I immediately wanted to kick his ass. Then Jet started to laugh so I nudged him. That's not funny I said under my breath.  
  
All right, all right, Spike said looking at me for a moment then to Jet, So what were you talking about?  
Its him only not... I thought to myself.  
  
  
  
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Did you like it? Next chapter will actually be out soon. I swear! ^-^ review for me okay?


	5. No Comment

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone that reviewed for this story. Your words encouraged me and pointed out a few things that I should pay attention to. De-Vampire-Angelique and I have started to team up. I hope that when you read my stories you can feel the emotion within the words. Hopefully the method that we use for writing actually works. ^-^; I realized I didn't have a Disclaimer for the last chapter. I tend to forget things.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Cowboy Bebop. I don't own the characters or anything Bebop.   
  
**Our Chance  
By: Miru88  
Chapter 5:  
  
** Before Jet could say a word to Spike I interrupted. Do you remember this place Spike? I ask with a tone of fake happiness in my voice. Your room... your room is ... just how you left it. I just did some minor dusting.  
  
As he turned to look at me I could see that he was trying hard to remember. He leaned against the wall and looked down as he told me that he didn't remember the Bebop at all. Spike's reaction, that reaction made me want to cry... and you know it takes a lot to make Faye Valentine cry. Do you want to see your room then? Maybe you shouldn't? ...there's a picture I found in there. As soon as I spoke that sentence I remembered what I did to that picture. I hated that picture. I crushed it in my hands because I felt that the woman in the picture ruined my life. The man I loved was tied to his past because of her ...but the man I loved would never love me.   
  
Spike's face was so sad and even though he was sad he tried to smile through it. he said to me.   
  
Oh... you'll be happy to know that we actually have meat now. You always complained about it. I laughed trying to enlighten the mood. Isn't that right Jet?  
  
Jet nodded while laughing. Yeah, you were always on my case about it...  
  
I noticed that Spike's smile was getting a little lighter.  
  
If you want Spike, you can sleep in my room... unless you want to sleep in that mess you once called a room. I said smiling slightly. You'd probably feel more comfortable in your room though.  
  
he looked at Jet signaling for him to turn away. I ...think I'll just see my room ...but if its all right with you... his voice faded, could I seep in yours?  
  
I said smiling as cheerful as possible, you can. I hesitated before I spoke again. Did you want to see your room now?  
  
Spike's smile was unsure. I ...I guess so. He said shrugging.  
  
I really hated to see him like this. I stared at him for a minute before walking past him. This way... I said while turning myself around to face him. We'll Faye, he's going to find that stupid picture. I wonder if he remembers her? I thought.   
  
His voice brought me back to reality. Spike was standing by me, hands in his pockets with a worried expression on his face. Something wrong Faye?  
  
Reluctantly I spoke in half whisper, Theres... theres a picture of someone from your past... it's a little crumpled but I smoothed it out as much as I could. Sorry.  
  
It's alright... really.. he said putting a hand on my shoulder. I've got you to help me... Spike tried to give me a reassuring look.  
  
She was really important to you... you would have died for her I told him with slight sorrow in my voice. I quickly walked to his door and closed my eyes. I've spent too much time behind this door I thought while placing my hand on the knob.  
  
What happened to her? he asked.  
  
I looked at him then dropped my gaze to the ground. She's dead. That's what you told Jet before you left. My eyes shifted to catch his reaction.   
  
Surprisingly all he did was scratch his head and say, His tone was soft and one could tell that he was sad to hear about her death.  
  
I don't know much about it I said sighing. I couldn't help, but to think of when I met her. I could understand why Spike loved her. She was beautiful.  
  
That's all right. he said as he shook his head and looked at me. With slight uncertainty in his voice he spoke again. ...did that have something to do with why I left..?  
  
It took me a while to answer his question. I knew that sometime soon he'd ask me about that. It seemed that way... but.. I had to stop because of those damn tears that formed. They didn't leave my eyes. I wouldn't let them. I would not cry. Then I spoke again, my tone softer, but you told me... that you were going to see if you were really alive.  
  
His face saddened. We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to Faye... he told me while wiping one of my forming tears.  
  
You want to know about your past right? I ignored my tears. Well that's how I felt.   
  
You didn't want me to go... Spike sighed and looked down to the side then continued, ...and I did anyway.  
  
When did I tell him that? I thought. Then I realized it. I looked up at him quickly. You... you remember? I asked slightly surprised.  
  
He was trying to concentrate. You... got... His brows knitted together. You... remembered your past... that's all... I can... He fixed his gaze on me. Am I close? he smiled slightly.  
  
I blinked very slowly, my brain just registering what he said. I nodded. I told you that..   
  
His smile got bigger. Well... it's a start, right? he asked running his fingers through his hair. I feel really bad. ...All I can remember now is that I left, just when I left..  
  
I knew you could remember something. You're fast. I smiled. It took me so long... I even have a beta tape of myself and I watched it over and over again hoping that I could remember.  
  
I noticed that he was smiling and those words that he spoke, that very sentence I will not forget. He told me, Well, I have you... I guess. The he laughed as if her were a bit embarrassed. I guess I'll have to watch you over and over again.  
  
I can't explain my reaction. I felt happy, but I was still very slightly depressed. I could talk to you all night about... well you. It's really hard for me to believe that you're here right now.  
  
Im sorry for leaving he said smiling sadly.  
  
I smiled back at him. Don't be... I opened his door, revealing his room. Its just as you left it. I said while taking a step in. It still smells of your cologne and cigarettes.  
  
As he walked in slowly he scanned his room and smirked. I like it...  
  
Of course you would. It's your room I sighed, my depression grew as soon as I saw the picture on his desk.  
  
I know but still... Spike shrugged.  
  
Well, I guess I'll get going now. I paused before walking out of the door. Her name was Julia, Spike.  
  
I heard him call my name so I turned around. Thank you... for everything... can you come in and get me later? he said smiling.  
  
I nodded walking out of his room and closing the door behind me. As I walked to my room I smiled. Not a big smile but a small one barely visible. At least he remembers something, Faye. I told myself.  
  
  
  
It had been about two and a half hours later before I went back to Spike's room. I was being lectured by Jet about being a woman and not being able to cook a decent meal. So after my long lecture and quick lesson about cooking I knocked on Spike's door. I heard a muffled . I was relieved. Okay he's still in his room and he isn't dead. Good Job Faye. I said to myself softly. Leaning against the wall, I answered him. It's me. You told me to come by later.   
  
I heard shuffling then the door opened slightly, revealing his face. You wanna come in? he asked.  
  
I hesitated before answering. I... don't know. Jet said that the food would be ready in about half an hour. I think he went all out tonight. I laughed slightly.  
  
We have half an hour. he stated shrugging. You sure you don't want to come in?  
  
I bit my lip and debated if I should or not. My lips formed a curve as I spoke, Okay, I'll come in. I noticed his grin. He opened the door slowly, letting me step into his room. My gaze never left him. Spike closed his door and leaned on it. That made me a little nervous. I said while running my fingers through my hair.  
  
Spike seemed to ignore the nervous tone in my voice, either that or he couldn't tell. Yeah... so... he stood up straight and put his hands in his pockets while walking past me to sit on his bed.  
  
I didn't know what to say so all I could think of was, So how are things? I smiled slightly trying to be polite.  
  
He let out a small laugh. I was just gonna ask you that.. he smiled at me then continued, well things are ... all right.   
  
Did seeing... this, I looked around his room, help any? I asked while walking over to him.   
  
He nodded slowly. A little bit... I know where everything is ...I was just looking around and I... I kinda remembered where I kept everything.  
  
That's good. I really am sorry about the picture. I found it when I was dusting and well... My voice faded. I didn't want to give him all of the details so I changed the subject. It's good that you remember something.  
  
Anyone who knows Spike can tell you that he was one damn persistent bastard, and you know what? He still is. Even if he doesn't mean to be. So Spike, being Spike stood up and smiled at me saying, Really... don't be sorry about anything.  
  
I couldn't help it so I turned away from him and spoke slowly. But... you two loved each other so much, you must have been lovers. I really think you were. I didn't turn around to face him, but I could tell what he looked like. His face was sad and he said, But she's gone.  
  
I'm sorry. I said simply, not turning around to face him.   
  
  
  
You lost someone you love. I know how that feels. I've felt that before. Whitney Hagas Matsumoto. I laughed softly. I'm glad I lost him though.  
  
Spike laughed lightly. So I turned around to look at him. He shook his head, No one should ever leave someone they care for their debt.  
  
I smiled, Yeah, that makes sense.  
  
His laughter stopped. I... I remembered that! he said smiling.  
  
I was so excited. I didn't even catch that he remembered it. My lips curved into a smile, Im glad you're remembering more things.   
  
You're really helping.  
  
This is a first. You never, ever, used to say that to me. You'd always complain. my smile widened.  
  
He shrugged. Maybe I really felt like this in my head...  
  
I sat down on his bed, smoothing out the sheets with my hand. Who knows what you were thinking.  
  
He looked like he was about to say something, but thought better of it. Spike sat down next to me, putting his elbows on his knees.  
  
I moved away from him a bit, but still kept my gaze on him. I never understood you, really.  
  
He looked at me, then to the floor. I'm sorry...  
  
I smiled. You said that you never liked kids, pets, or women with attitude. I stated trying to enlighten the atmosphere.  
  
He let out a small laugh. Kids... man. he shook his head laughing a little louder. Kids are the main one... pets... pets are okay if you have nothing better to worry about... and women with attitude...  
  
  
Oh? What about them? I raised an eyebrow.   
  
He turned to me and smirked. ...no comment...  
  
Well that's me. I guess I've changed... a lot. I smiled thinking about the past.  
  
he nodded. Not a whole lot, but still...  
  
What? Do you remember or something?  
  
You're more open than you used to be. He straightened up and turned to me.  
  
I still have no luck though. I sighed. No luck at anything. I stated dryly.  
  
That's when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I stiffened slightly then relaxed. He was warm... so warm. It felt nice on my skin. Things will get better... he said.  
  
We'll see.  
  
he pulled his hand back and stood up.  
  
I watched him. I saw Spike ruffle his hair and then put his hand in his pocket. Then I looked down.  
  
Somethings bothering you... he sighed softly.  
  
Can you tell?  
  
  
  
I smiled nervously and shook my head. I've spent a lot of time in here... mostly thinking. I sighed. It has that feel to it... I glanced around his room quickly. ... and I hope you don't mind.  
  
He shook his head. I don't...  
  
I felt like I had to tell him. It was building up since I met him again, I had to tell him how I felt but... there's always that little fear of rejection. He did that to me already. I laughed sadly and inhaled to prepare myself. You know, I thought about this after you left. I mean the whole... why did you go? What could I have done to stop you? I thought, maybe, if I shot you in the leg, you wouldn't go... but nothing would stop you anyway so why bother.  
  
He opened his mouth slightly, to say something I guess. There was a long pause. He was thinking of what to say and when he came to that decision on what to say well... it was a question. How... how did you feel about me?   
  
What do you mean? Hell I knew what he meant, but this would prolong my answer.  
  
I mean... how did you feel about me? Honestly I can't think of another way to say it... like ... he moved his hand around in thought. You know what I mean?  
  
I stood up and sighed heavily. I... I... Why do you want to know?  
  
I guess he was taken back a bit. No reason, I'm just wondering...  
  
I had feelings for you... and I wasn't sure of them until you left.  
  
He sounded surprised.   
  
I got angry really quick, then realized he didn't remember anything so I calmed down and pushed my anger away. I walked to his door quickly because I felt awkward.  
  
I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it his tone was soft.  
  
Wait what are you sorry for? I turned around, I didn't catch that.  
  
Well... I didn't mean anything by asking you that... and ...I ... I... He paused. ...I wanted to come back...  
  
This caught me by surprise. What? I don't really know if I know what you mean...?  
  
When I left, I... thought that maybe I could come back ... and I wanted to, but... i wasn't sure I would.  
  
Why... why would you want to come back? Spike... I ... I think the food is ready.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
How did you guys like it? I hope its okay. Anyway, as always please Read and Review. I hope this makes up for the short confusing chapters in the beginning.


	6. The White Room

A/N: I don't own Cowboy Bebop. I realize that when I wrote the previous chapters, I had no concept of spacing out paragraphs or using tabs- and hey to clear things up with everyone I'll speak in third person because its fun… for this thing: Miru chan fully loves everything about Cowboy Bebop. Especially the way it ended. She thought it was a wonderful way to have the series end, and she continues to belive that Spike actually died, which is sad. So that's why she loves to write and read fan fiction that has a general plot of Spike somehow living.

**Our Chance**

**By: Miru88**

**Chapter 6: The White Room**

That night after dinner, I attempted to isolate myself as much as possible. I didn't want to hear more of what he had to say, but then I knew I was going to drive myself crazy if I couldn't talk to him. I needed to get away from everyone so I decided a hot bath would do the trick. Its surprising, I know: a HOT bath. Jet had fixed the shower a while ago and there was no telling when it would break down again. I figured I would use as much as I could while it still functioned well.

Anyway, it seems that nice hot baths promote brain activity, thus thoughts of the past filled my mind. Its just funny how I ended up meeting him and how everyone on the Bebop became acquainted. We didn't really have anyone but each other, which explains why we all ended up together after we tried to get on with our lives. They became my family, whether or not I liked it. Oh God. I was so afraid of becoming close to anyone back then, and I'm still that way now. I sighed. "And its whenever I let these dumb-asses get close enough to my heart that they just leave me." I muttered under my breath as I wrapped my hair in a towel and continued to dry off. After slipping on my bath robe, I headed for my room and locked myself in.

It was about half an hour later that I finally felt as if I could relax a little when I heard the shower start up. After patrolling the area, I found Jet tending to his precious bonsai trees and Ed was busy typing things. Thank God I wouldn't have to deal with Spike just yet. Everything that has happened seemed like a dream and I just haven't woken up yet. I wonder if this is the feeling he was describing to me that time.

When he walked out of the shower, he only wore boxers. He had a towel around his shoulders while he ruffled his damp hair with his hand. His chest… his abs… his skin… all of it was glistening with little droplets of water. I wanted him, it didn't matter, -nothing mattered right then. I had the urge to place my hands all over him, but I held it back. What the hell am I thinking? Get a grip, Faye. I could feel my face turning a light shade of red, so I quickly turned away and pretended to read a magazine that was lying around.

"Hey." He greeted.

"Hey." I replied, not daring to raise my eyes from the magazine.

After a long silence, he finally said something to me. "If you want to later, could we talk more?"

"Yeah, okay," I responded. It was so strange hearing the things he said to me since I met him again. Words I thought I'd never hear Spike Spiegel say were coming from his mouth in his voice. He left and went to change in his room after I agreed to talk to him later. I figured that I should do the same and change out of my bathrobe.

We talked in the main room, a place where everyone would often exchange words. He sat on the yellow couch with his legs crossed. He wore what looked like his old work clothes: a light blue shirt and long pants. I was sitting on the opposite end of the couch. I was slightly turned, so I could face him when talking. We spent most of the night just conversing. We talked about everyday things at first, then drifted into the past for a little while. I started to doze off after becoming too infatuated with my thoughts. Its just a crazy dream.

Oddly, that night I had a strange dream. I haven't felt that _alone_ since he left. I was sitting on a bed in a white room, a blinding white room. After a while, I stood up and looked around. There was no furniture, except for the bed. I saw one picture posted on the wall. It was a group picture of everyone from the Bebop. Ed had Ein in her arms and she had a wide smile on her face. Jet, Spike, and I were together, smiling like we would if we ever caught a bounty head worth all the woolongs in the universe. Looking at it made me feel a little more at peace.

Then I saw someone enter the room. Jet? I couldn't really tell- I don't remember his face. The image was slightly blurred out to begin with. I could hear his voice so clearly though. He began to talk to me, that's how I knew it was Jet. After a greeting and a nice comment about the weather, the real conversation began. The things he said made it seem as if years had gone by. "Ed has really grown up, Faye. Ein is still with her, keeping an eye out for her." Then the words that stuck out like a sore thumb. "He's dead, Faye." His voice had a tone of sadness. But it was as if he told me this before. Those words seemed so familiar and they always made me hit rock bottom. I felt like dying.

I shook my head, "No he isn't! Stop telling me that!"

"Faye," the voice continued, "They found his body…"

"No!" I shrieked.

I gasped for air. "Holy shit." I muttered as I sat up. "_Spike_?" I said breathless. I panicked. I never had a dream this real before. So I began to think, what if he wasn't here at all? And how the hell did I end up in my room, if I was just on the couch before I passed out? Jet sure as hell wouldn't move me. I stood up and held my head. "That was just one messed up dream…" I said softly. After a few minutes of trying to convince myself that I was just dreaming, I couldn't handle it. I walked out of my room and cautiously walked to Spike's door. I placed my hand on the knob and took a deep breath. I slowly turned the knob and braced myself. "If he's not there, I've gone insane." I sighed. Just then the I felt the knob turn. I froze.

"Are you okay?"

I sighed with relief. "Can I…" I began to ask.

"Stay here for the night?" he smiled.

I nodded and cracked a small smile. "Thanks."

He opened his door wider to let me in. As he was closing his door, I wrapped my arms around him. I felt his surprise, because he jumped a little. I was so glad to be so close to him and to know that he was there, that I could feel his body actually present. "Sorry." I apologized as I let go of him. "You must be tired. I'm sorry." I continued.

"My bed isn't that large. We'll just have to stay close to each other, if you don't mind." He stated nonchalantly. I could tell there was a smirk on his face. It made me forget everything. The way. His. Lips. Curved.

A/N: I know it was short, sorry! I'm still trying to get into it and I know there must have been horrible grammar in there that I missed...I hope this chapter wasn't too bad for you! Please review- I'd like to hear from you. And please don't be too harsh… ...oh and if you know how to have the tabs show on this thing could you help me out? ;; thanks!


	7. When We First Met

Disclaimer: I don't in anyway own Cowboy Bebop! ;; how sad.

A/N: I've decided to dedicate this chapter to eyeoffcenter. Also- big thanks to my good friend, Angelique. And of course, Risa-chan, hontouni, arigatou! Oh and thank you Mary! Sorry it took so long

* * *

**Our Chance**

**By: Miru88**

**Chapter 7: When We First Met**

Being _so close_ to _him_, knowing that he was there- It felt like Heaven. I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to let my emotions go, but it was the middle of the night… As he closed the door, I just stood there; I had no idea what I was doing or going to do. For so long, I've been in his room and done as I pleased. I've even spent countless hours just lying in his bed… but this time I won't be alone. My heart was racing. 'Oh God.' I thought. 'I wanted this for so long.'

"Faye?" Spike's voice brought me back to reality. I was too busy focusing on my thoughts and I didn't even notice that he had already moved from the door to his bed. "Come on," he beckoned.

I took small steps towards him, not really sure how I'd position myself on the bed.

"I won't bite." He whispered.

I smiled.

* * *

That night was unbelievable. Of course –nothing- happened, but it was still great. I fell asleep shortly after he did… the last thing I remember was the warmth of his body next to mine.

When I woke up, the lunkhead was still sleeping. I didn't realize it, but during my sleep I must have shifted. I was lying on my side, close to him with an arm over his chest. For a minute there, when I opened my eyes, I thought I was dreaming. A small smile formed on my face, then I realized he was really there and I wasn't caught up in one of my dreams again.

He didn't open his eyes, but a grin appeared on his face. 'hmm…? What's this now?' I thought.

Then, as if he was reading my mind he answered me, "You're really cute when you're sleeping."

I laughed quietly. That was so not Spike like, or maybe it was. Maybe this is just a side I didn't get to see because he was so…caught up with _her_. I watched him as he yawned. "Sorry," I apologized as I moved off of him and sat up.

"What for?"

"Barging in during the middle of the night. _And other things_," I mumbled the last part.

"hmm..?" He wasn't listening to me. That's the Spike I know. He yawned again, but this time I felt his hand on mine. I looked down to see it. That's when he pulled my arm up and tugged me back, making me fall onto the bed. "Its too early," he said. It sounded as if he was a boy who didn't want to get up to go to school.

"Jet's going to think its…" I trailed off and after figuring out my words I continued, "weird that I'm not in my room." That was a lie. Even though, even after these years that had passed, Jet didn't give a rat's ass about my whereabouts in the morning. He only worried if I didn't show up later in the day, which I guess is an improvement to how things were previously.

"Can it, Faye. Jet doesn't care," Spike stated sleepily. "Quit lying to me," he said in a softer tone.

Now, maybe its just me… but the first part of his words there definitely sounded like the old Spike, but the second part was just… It reminded me of the way he talked to me before he left us _that day. _And come to think of it… I really wish I shot him. I sighed. "Shut up. And how would you know if I'm lying anyway?"

"I'm that good." He laughed. "I just _know_."

* * *

I left him alone for most of the day, until he knocked on the door to my room. "What?" I called out, thinking that the knock from the otherside came from Jet.

Instead, Spike's voice greeted me- "Lets go out."

It wasn't a question. It was more of a statement and in most cases I would be reluctant to go anywhere, but things we're getting boring really fast and I was running out of cigarettes. I opened my door, only to find Spike smirking and leaning against the wall adjusting his tie. His yellow shirt was ruffled, as if he just put on his clothes. "Where are we going?"

"To a casino," he shrugged.

BAM! That hit a nerve. Oh Gods how I haven't gambled in the longest time. "Alright!" I agreed. It sounded almost too willing. He looked a little surprised, but he seemed to recover fast.

Spike smiled and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'll wait until youre-"

"I'm ready." I said while grabbing what cash I had left lying around. It was enough to play a hand of… well whatever. Who knows, maybe I still had my skills, even though I would be a bit rusty. Then I realized I didn't know where the hell we were going, "Which casino are we going to?" I asked.

"The one on Mars. Remember?"

"Oh yeah! I don't know if that's…" then it hit me. Apparently I've been really slow at realizing these things. "You remember that?" I asked curiously.

"Where we first met." He laughed. "And you cheated me out of my money."

"Yeah, I know." I said dryly. I closed my eyes and visions of that day ran through my mind. "Did you feel something back then? Do you remember if you did?"

He shrugged. "I don't know." His voice sounded so sincere.

We managed to convince Jet that everyone needed a vacation. So, off to Mars we went- to the casinos. On the way there, I grabbed a deck of cards to practice and get everyone in the spirit. Oh that's funny, Faye getting everyone in the spirit- I have changed. We played a round of blackjack, then poker. As I shuffled the deck, Spike asked me something that nearly stopped my heart.

"Did you ever have someone else?"

My hands stopped moving. The cards fell out of my hands and floated to the ground. "Why do you," I paused for a while, "why do you ask that?" It was difficult to suppress all the emotions I was feeling as memories of all those… assholes, those stupid pigs; It was hard to picture just one of the guys in my life that had taken advantage of me. Then I came to a face. I didn't really have any _relationship_ with the guy, but I felt like I could open up to him. He was different. "Spike," I sighed. "I've had my heart broken so many times there's nothing left. But I met this one guy- his name was Gren. I guess, he was so charismatic or something like that. You met him, I think. I didn't love him or anything; I knew him for a day pretty much. I could _talk_ to him like how I couldn't well, with ...nevermind, but he is- was someone."

There was an awkward silence. Then, Mister "Father figure" spoke up. "We've all experienced that." He stated matter of factly.

I knew we all had our episodes where we'd confront our past or that _someone_ from our past and I didn't want to relive it by repeating the stories. So, thank God we were pretty much at our desitnation. "We're here!" Ed shouted.

Jet laughed, "You know you can't really do much at the casino, right Ed?"

Everyone gathered their things while Ed played with Ein- it was the same old story.

* * *

"Its beautiful!" I chimed. "I missed this place sooo much, well… not really." I guess I got a little excited and left everyone behind to check out the scenery. Flashing lights, the sounds of the machines and the excitement in the air. That's all I needed to get going. As I was walking away from them I could hear Spike and Jet talking.

"She's like a whole new person." Spike sounded amazed.

"That's the real Faye."

I turned around and smirked. "Well now boys," I laughed, "I'll leave you to your guy talk- catcha later!" I waved and headed towards the blackjack table. I've decided that I won't really go into detail about it, but I lost and I won, and then I lost even more. What's new? One by one the people at the table started to leave and I was the only one left besides the dealer. He was a tall, lanky man with blonde hair. He was sort of cute. Just when I was able to take my mind off of Spike, that lunkhead sat right next to me.

"Yo." he greeted. "Win any?"

I looked at the dealer when he spoke. I don't know what was going on in my mind. _Well, I guess I just wanted to get even somehow._ "Some." I grinned. Then I turned to the dealer, "I'd like to cash out, please." I said with the cutest voice I had.

"Sure thing, miss." He said with a smile on his face. In response, I winked and blew him a quick kiss.

Spike raised an eyebrow. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Wanna come?" I laughed softly and put my hand to his cheek, slightly amused with his reaction. His lips curved into a smile, which I took as a 'yes' so I got up from my seat and began walking towards the bar. I sat down and ordered myself a strawberry daiquiri to keep things light, Spike sat next to me and ordered a whiskey.

"Faye?" His voice was soft.

I turned my head and looked at him while taking another sip.

"I think I remember…some things, but they aren't good things."

I could tell there was more to what he was saying and I had the impression that I would want a lot to drink. "Alright, Spike… give me your best shot," I said in my head.

"Back then," he started again. "Back then I think I was so caught up in my past that nothing new really mattered. I wanted to get away from it, I did. But it just caught up with me." He took a sip of his whiskey. "I know that I was so...focused on it. I guess I did feel something towards you. I still don't know what it was. I don't think that even at that time I knew what it was, but-"

"But you we're in love with Julia." I sighed. "I know." I ordered another drink this time. A _stronger_ drink. "She's dead." I said in the same tone Jet used in my dream.

_ Oooh Faye, you've hit a nerve. Good job._ He slammed his drink down on the counter. "That's not my point! I know she's dead Faye." His voice got stronger then. "I know she's dead, but I'm trying to say something."

"Well, spit it out already." I replied coldly.

"I left and I didn't care if I came back, but _look_, I'm here! I'm through with the past."

"And?"

"And?" he asked. "-And I'm saying that I'm here for…for you."

I didn't say anything for a while. "I'm not her replacement, Spike." I stated. I finished off what remained of my drink and walked off to find peace, but instead I found Jet, who had made it big apparently.

"Hey!" he waved to me.

"Lucky, aren't we, Jet?" I laughed, trying to get out of my bad mood.

If anything, in this point of my life, I have learned to appreciate people a little more. I'm still the stubborn shrew that I was, but it's a little different now. I've learned how Jet operates and that his intentions are truly good, even if he amps out every once in a while. He is a man after all. Anyway, he was beaming.

"Better cash it out before Spike does something." He said, mainly to himself as he walked off.

I shook my head as I watched him leave. The alcohol was beginning to kick in. As I started to walk again, I thought about what had just happened with Spike. I don't know why I responded like that. "Faye, you're so stupid." I muttered. So I continued through the casino, hoping to either get lost or find my way out- just not run into anyone I knew. When I thought I finally made it out safely, someone grabbed my hand.

I turned around, "Oh great," I sighed.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp and looked down. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said softly. Before he could speak again, I tried to clarify myself. "I mean... you're here now? For _me?_"

He sighed and it seemed like he was thinking about his words carefully. "I don't know what I meant. Its just this _feeling._"

"A feeling?" I asked, this time taking a step towards him. I could feel my cheeks burning; not because I was blushing, but because of the liquor.

He nodded. "Last night, this morning, its just this feeling that you give me."

"Spike," I laughed, feeling the buzz. "I wanted to give you so many things, especially when I realized that YOU were pretty much the only thing I had left." I curled my arms around his neck, then slid my hands down his chest. "I don't understand you. I don't get men." My emotions were mixed like a damn smoothie. A bit of anger here, a pinch of sorrow there, a cup full of confusion, and to top it off, the alcohol had a real kick.

"You're really something, Faye Valentine." He said with a smirk plastered on his lips.

That kind of pissed me off, but I couldn't help but be fascinated with him. He put an arm around me and my body stiffened. I wasn't used to his touch, or to anyone's for that matter. "I'm sorry," I spoke softly. "I just wish you remembered something…happy. Or well, something other than that, but at least you know that whole thing now."

I could hear Jet roaring behind us. "Hey, Spike! Faye! Let's go out for dinner."

"He must have won big," Spike laughed

* * *

A/N: Yeah… that would be this chapter! I do hope it was up to your expectations, I'm sorry if it wasn't. So please Review and let me know! Thanks!


	8. Revisit

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Cowboy Bebop or anything associated with it.

A/N: Sorry guys. My brain was on overload. Its been more than a year! I know, sorry! Blame college…

* * *

**Our Chance**

**By: Miru88**

**Chapter 8: Revisit**

_"You're really something, Faye Valentine." He said with a smirk plastered on his lips._

_That kind of pissed me off, but I couldn't help but be fascinated with him. He put an arm around me and my body stiffened. I wasn't used to his touch, or to anyone's for that matter. "I'm sorry," I spoke softly. "I just wish you remembered something…happy. Or well, something other than that, but at least you know that whole thing now."_

* * *

Jet ran up to us as if he were a little boy excited to go to the park. It was hard for me to actually comprehend his actions because I never really did see him so happy. My eyes must have glazed over as he was telling Spike the details of his win. _At least you get your moment of sheer happiness, huh, Jet?_

"Faye?" asked a voice. "Faye!" I snapped out of the daze.

"What? Yeah, yay for you." I muttered as I turned to Jet. "What are you going to do with all of it?" I raised my brow.

"Oh. I don't know." He teased, grinning the whole time.

_Ugh. Well, if you don't know, perhaps I could wager something._ "Let's play a game?" I asked while trying to suppress a grin. I could feel Spike's gaze shifting from me to Jet. Then all in an instant, he managed to shatter my dreams of racehorses and greyhounds with one sentence.

"Don't do it, you'll lose." It hurt the way he said it. So matter-of-factly, but he just meant to tease. _I think?_

"Well you should share it." I put my hands on my hips, secretly hoping he really would agree.

Jet frowned, then sighed and took a deep breath. I was preparing myself for a long father like speech, but to my surprise he shrugged and simply stated, "It's mine. I won it. What we're you guys doing the whole time? And anyway, I think maybe I will share it."

Spike and I looked at him in confusion. _He is going to share it? _ Once again, my imagination began to fill my mind with my winning dreams, and once again they were shot down. Only this time, they were replaced by a mouth watering suggestion. "Dinner?"

* * *

We headed back to the Bebop upon my insisting. After all, I am a woman and women need to look fashionable. I figured we would go to someplace nice and I didn't want to appear underdressed. I nearly ran to my room and opened my closet. _I want to look good._ Pulling out half of my closet, I began to stare at myself while holding up different combinations of clothes to my body before I settled on –the one-. I slipped it on and zipped it up. Admiring myself in the mirror was half as fun. I loved the way my black dress fitted my body, the way it hugged my curves, the way it accentuated features I was so proud of… _Perfect._ I felt so excited, as if I were in high school on my first date. _That's so wrong. _I frowned and considered removing the damn thing to replace it with something less risqué. "Too hell with it!" I grinned, still admiring myself.

As I stepped out of my room, I noticed the two men were ready to leave. It seemed as if they had been waiting for a while what with Spike laying across the yellow couch with a cigarette in his mouth and Jet across of him. They didn't notice me. I sighed. "Okay, let's go." I watched their reactions closely and probably would have dropped to the ground laughing if I could have. Spike raised an eyebrow and it looked as if he was trying to hide a grin. Jet on the other hand, looked surprised and muttered under his breath like how a father would if his daughter were going out in something he didn't agree with. I didn't bother waiting for them to get up. Instead, I just walked out slowly.

* * *

I suppose, had this moment taken place previously, it would have been awkward sitting in an actual restaurant with these two. I can't really remember a time where we were all together in a room without fighting or working. _Flammé__-e_ is known for its lavish interior, exquisite dishes, and excellent service was never a place I would expect to be. The room we were seated in was separated from most of the busy areas of the restaurant. Soft music played in the background as if the sound were just dancing around my ears. It seemed to drown out the murmur of voices from different areas of the vicinity. The chairs we sat on were round and soft. It was composed of velvety red material, which accompanied the draperies around the room perfectly. Though, in my opinion the draperies were even more beautiful because of the sheer gold material over them. There was a chandelier hanging high above the center of the room. The soft golden glow it emitted enchanted my vision. It seemed like dinner would never end, not that I wanted it to, but it all felt like a dream. Everything before me just flowed by. Never in my life had I experienced something so relaxing and fun. Never would I really think that I could experience anything relaxing with Spike or Jet around. Then it hit me and the awkwardness spread over my body. _Why am I here with both of them_ I tried to shake the thought, but one one side of me was a man that I know I have felt love for and opposite of him was a friend.

* * *

That night, I thought I would sleep well. I was secretly wishing inside that Spike and I would have a moment, but when we returned he just showered and went to his room. I wanted to know what was on his mind. I wanted to be with him. But… _maybe he needs space now…I don't know._ I sighed, pulling my sheets close. As I closed my eyes, more thoughts bombarded their way through my brain….

_Again?__This horrible feeling that just tugs at my heart.__ I sat up, blinded by white walls. Everything was exactly the same as my previous dream. __The picture on the wall, the lack of furnishings except for a bed…What the hell??_

"Spike?" I called out, hoping to God for an answer. God gave me an answer all right. Jet walked into the room with a forced smile on his face. Then I noticed a girl with orange hair following him. She looked like Ed, but then this girl was older and she seemed a lot less hyperactive.

"Faye-faye!" she smiled and walked over to me. A hug. It felt so real for a dream.

"Ed wanted to see you." Jet explained.

_Ed…?_

"She's really grown." He said sensing my confusion. "She's going to go look for her Father again."

She whispered into my ear…I could barely hear it. "Get well soon Faye-faye. Ed misses you." I felt puzzled. This girl next to me looked like Ed, but didn't. She spoke like Ed, but it didn't sound right. Before I knew it, she was waving to me and out the door.

"Faye," Jet spoke, "I wish you could come to terms with … it." He looked down uncomfortably. "I was hoping you would be up when I came today, you've been sleeping for days."

"What?" I asked. My brows knit together and I stood up… well, tried to stand. My legs weren't listening to me. I looked down and noticed I was in a white gown, as if I were in some hospital. Then, I saw my arm. Little red dots were near my wrist and inner elbow. _What the hell is this?_ "Jet, you have a lot of explaining to do!"

"I am explaining it to you, Faye!" I could sense the frustration in his voice. "You don't want to listen!"

I glared at him. "Explain it again then." I regretted that as soon as I finished saying it.

"He is... Faye, Spike isn't with us anymore."

I scoffed. "Well yeah, he isn't here is he?" _Please don't tell me he's dead. _"We just ate dinner with him last night! You don't remember? Maybe you're getting too old!"

Jet stood silent. He looked confused. He walked up to me and handed me a book, then walked out of the room. I wanted to follow him, but instead looked at the book in my hand. I leafed through some pages and realized it was a diary. _My diary?_ I looked for the last page. There was no date, only one sentence: "He's dead." The ink was smeared. It looked like water must have dropped onto it and the writer might have smeared the ink while wiping it away. But wait. I was the writer.

Then, I woke up.

I was sweating and my breath was shallow. "Holy crap." I placed my hand on my chest to feel my heart beat. "A shower," I sighed "I need a shower."

The water was slightly hot as it trickled down my body. The shower was steaming, but it felt so good. My mind wandered, thinking about the dream I just had. What did it mean? The white room? My diary? Spike was dead…As I rubbed the shampoo through my hair I glanced at my arm. The red dots weren't gone. I froze._ What the HELL is this?_ I wanted to run out of the shower and check to see if he was really there. I wanted to scream, but instead I held it all in. I finished rinsing the shampoo out and stepped out of the shower. My heart was pounding. Part of me wanted to check to see if he was really in his room and part of me didn't want to look for fear of disappointment. _Maybe he's a ghost._ I almost laughed after that thought. _Naw__, ghosts aren't real…and he wouldn't visit me out of all the people he knew."_ I sighed, not realizing I was standing right by his door. Though I was still wearing just a towel, I felt the urge to break down his door. I needed the satisfaction of seeing him. I placed my hand on the door, which to my surprise was left open. I closed my eyes tightly and pushed the door slowly. Oddly, there was a musty sent in the air. The lights were off, so I couldn't see anything, but I didn't want to turn them on in fear of waking him up. I walked further into his room, straining my eyes to see in the dark, but it didn't help. "Spike?" I whispered. _Please…_ I approached his bed and lowered my hands…

Nothing.

Fear crept over me, slowly engulfing my whole body.

Then I woke up, gasping for air.

* * *

A/N: Sorry, it's a bit short, but I'm really bent on finishing this thing. Only a few more chapters left. Please review and tell me what needs work. Its been so long since I've written and a little encouragement would help. Thank you! 


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